My husband and I will be married 25 years in May 2016. With all the ups and down that come with 25 years, this one tip has saved our marriage over and over.
It is simply. When he or I walk in the door from work, the person coming in gets 5-10 minutes to themselves.
We call it “transition time”. Basically it is time to get in the door, change your clothes, relax a minute and transition your thoughts and behaviors from super-over-achiever-boss-lady-entrepreneur to loving supportive relaxed spouse/partner/mother. Yes it is a small thing… and can be a huge gift to you and your family.
Here’s why.
How many times have you met your partner at the door and spewed your horrible-no-good-day in all its’ gritty details on that person? Or gave the overwhelming list of expected demands that need to be completed before 8:30 p.m., so you can get in bed on time for 5:30 a.m. CrossFit class tomorrow? And how did that end up? Not so grand, Right?!? (I actually just got stressed writing those two questions.)
DON’T DO THIS.
Instead, intentionally set the tone for your evening together.
Ask yourself and your partner, “How do we want our evenings to feel?”
No one ever says, “Stressed!”
Literally name how you want feel…Relaxed? Supported? Connected? Playful? Productive? Do the things that create that feeling. Have a glass of wine, take a walk, discuss your day, talk and listen, garden, or sit quietly and read… the options are endless. Giving each other the transition time, that magic five minutes is the starting point for the quality of your relationship in those precious few hours you have together each evening. Because each evening turns into your week, that turns into your year…then your life.
P.S. This tip works in every situation with every person in your family, community and work.
Love, Light and Passion,
Christy Shell
